I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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