I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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