we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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