i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
