i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
