Quick, to the slutcave!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
