Already got asked if we're dating
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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