you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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