You smell like a Billy Joel song
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
