Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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