I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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