Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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