Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
