batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
