Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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