My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
