I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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