dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
