He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He better not be in your backpack
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
