direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
