i'm signing you up for texting rehab
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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