He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i now understand why vodka
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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