They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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