Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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