So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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