You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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