Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
