i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
