You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
