We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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