Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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