Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
and she was petting her beer can
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
