i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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