i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
