You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
