so explain again why im purple
no
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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