Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
