I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
