I've blown a few things in my day
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
