I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
