alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
