hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
