My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
