I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
