Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
