i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My cat gives me a boner
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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