pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
