I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
