the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
either way he was missing a nipple.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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