It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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