Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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