Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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