I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm really busy with my period
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