I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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