Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
