drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
