Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
