I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
