The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
